ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I want to fling myself into the sun
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
