hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
