so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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