On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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