pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
