hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
