I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You've changed since you got that strap on
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The air taste purple.
Randomize
