well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
