i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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