i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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