absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
