yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
