that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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