It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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