john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
