My room smells like vodka and shame
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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