Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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