i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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