ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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