Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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