I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
