Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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