he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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