Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
