I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
