I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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