So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
