i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
