OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
