So drunk its hurt
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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