First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
