You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
