I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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