this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
