Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
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