Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
