Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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