so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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