I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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