you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
