what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
