You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
