if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Randomize
