gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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