Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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