I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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