she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
