we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
