I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
