dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
