I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
