tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
