He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
